Just a BAD day.....

We all have them, right? A plain old, miserable, terrible day? I hope so. I'd hate to think it was all me. That might point to more deeper issues than I care to acknowledge.....! I had one of those days yesterday. Woke up pissy. A few miss guided comments on my other half's part.....and BAM! That was it. I was angry. Then just mad. Then resentful. Then sad. Spent the morning feeling totally incapable of coping. Not caring to even try to cope. Just wanted to lay down and weep. Of course, upon calling my Mom, who can HEAR such drama in my voice, I was asked what was wrong. I barely got off the phone with her before the floodgates parted. Oh how I cried. Gradually I got myself together. A well timed texted picture of a sticky, smiling sweetheart helped. Couldn't resist laughing out loud. Even after the flood slowed....it didn't take much to start up again. Lane was just being typical, almost 2 year old him, but it was almost unbearable. He didn't want to be changed, didn't want to get dressed, didn't want to eat anything I made him. All of which brought on more tears. Poor kid. He must have wondered if I was losing my mind. I wondered if I was losing my mind. By lunch time I was more worn out than anything. Didn't have the energy to feel anymore. Just didn't care. Put Lane down for a nap after lunch and promptly fell asleep on the couch....crying headache thudding away. The afternoon was definitely better. Went to the school for the girls, sat in the sunshine and enjoyed the warmth for awhile, then brought them home for Nutella Crepes as an after school treat. No one could not smile watching them enjoy those! Again, they probably thought I was losing my mind letting them have Nutella, but they weren't going to question it! My afternoon nap restored some of my spent energy, so I was able to pick up said other half with a proper dose of attitude again. I think he was pretty wary of me, and glad to be dropped off and see me drive away to work! The mindlessness of making coffee, cleaning the store and chatting with customers restored me to my usual cheery self, bringing me back to a decent mindframe. Still. The day sucked. Whew. Hope those are far and few between! What a BAD day.

Smiles (today again), Be well,

Crystal

Ahhh......Autumn.....

Happy Rainy Friday,

Well, it's the second day of Autumn. While I do lament the end of hot lazy days spent in little else than a bathing suit and flip flops, I am still ready to embrace the current season upon us. I feel more motivated. More alive. More into doing what has been put off while we swam, BBQ'd, camped, traveled, built sandcastles and blended drinks. Time to put the sandals away. Vacuum the sand out of the van. Add another blanket to the kids beds. Time for scheduling and organizing. Time to bake and use the slow cooker. Time to think of Thanksgiving.....and all I have to be thankful for. Speaking of Thanksgiving, I am hosting my family's dinner at our house this year. I cannot wait. I so enjoy spending time with my wacky relatives. It is always a good time. Full of laughs and good food, games and such fun! So far I am expecting around 20.....so I will have a houseful, to say the least! With so many people ranging from 2-77, I am trying to think of something fun we could all do together. Perhaps a neighborhood scavenger hunt. I planned one before during a family reunion/wedding celebration/75 birthday party, and it was a hoot. I will keep you posted on what I come up with.

Well, I'm off to organize the girls' room. Add those blankets I mentioned! Oh, and laundry.....ALWAYS laundry!

Enjoy your Friday everyone.

Smiles, Be well,

Crystal

Sometimes I just have to ask myself 'why?'!

Good morning!

Thought I'd try to sit for a moment if I can, (you will get why I may not be able to shortly), and jot down a new post. Twice now, this week, I've had added two extra kids to our midst. A friend asked me a favor and I quickly responded yes. Didn't really think it through. Not that I would have said 'no' even with more time to think....but I probably would have come into it with the proper amount of apprehension! All that ran through my mind in a matter of seconds was 'my girls will be at school, my van sits 7 for pickup/dropoff, Lane is bored without the girls so will enjoy playmates and as long as we are around the house for his naps, all should be fine'. Well, that IS basically it. Except I forgot Monday was a Pro D Day. So I had all 5 ALL DAY. :S It wasn't exactly hard....just BUSY! Yes, the more playmates, the merrier, I tend to figure. I didn't really take into account that more playmates also means more mess, more food to prepare, more fights to subdue, more whines, more screams, more trips to the toilet, more buckles to buckle, not enough room beside or on me for 5 and generally lots more chaos! All in all though, it went pretty well. I slept like a baby myself that night, but no real complaints. I am currently 1 hour into day 2. Minus my girls. So far they have thrown blocks (which are still everywhere), dropped stuffies from the second floor landing down to the basement, played tambourine (god help me!), 'cleaned' a TV with wipes, played trucks (including the one that turns on and honks), had a snack and drink, chased each other, tickled each other, jumped on the couch and argued about what and when to clean up. They are here until 5. My girls join us at 3. Only 1 will nap. HELP! Did I mention I get to go to my actual job tonight at 5:30? Yup, that's right. Plus I will have dinner on for Brad and the girls, since he has to go to 'Meet the Teacher Night'. I may lose my mind. Check back later to find out!

With a forced smile, I bid you farewell,

Crystal

Back to school, back to routine......back to the blog?

Happy Wednesday morning all! It's me! Do you kinda remember me? I know I've been negligent. I'm back. I'm trying. Okay? Stick with me!

I'm thinking it is going to be easier to commit to blogging now that we are settling into the routine of fall. It helps that 2 out of 3 kids are out of the house full days now too, and my youngest is developing (cross your fingers!) a small interest in TV that is buying me a few minutes here and there. So here I go! :)

As I mentioned, we are back at school. Grade 1 and grade 4. FULL days! Yippee! So far, so good. Both girls love it and are sad when it's a weekend. Yes, I know it is only day 7....but I can dream, can't I?! Lane is feeling a little lost left in the wake of his sisters commotion. I'm finding myself having to entertain him a whole lot more than when they are around. I can't complain though. Who isn't happy when simple games of 'animals' and 'cars' make him light up? Or to have a baking helper who isn't throwing out elbows to their nearest sibling and insisting it's THEIR turn to stir/add/measure. Pretty easy. Pretty peaceful. He may be my current favorite. ;)

Not that I want to pick favorites....but while I'm on the subject you should have seen the morning I had with Madison. It was epic. Not is a good way either. She has decided to once again join the cross-country running team. (I knew my athletic prowess was just waiting to emerge through one of them!) I am totally thrilled she is eager to join school groups, not to mention the health benefits it brings with it and hopefully a life long commitment to health and exercise. (No, I don't think I am investing too much in grade 4 cross-country!) So, as it happens, this years practices are 3 days a week BEFORE school. Yup, that's right. We need to get up earlier for it. 3 days a week. I've got my head around that part though. I'm committed. So I wake her up early today. I make her one piece of toast and wrap up half a pb&j sandwich for after. Thinking I'm avoiding stomach cramps. I pack her extra water and even make her some tea; why not enjoy our early morning time alone together, right? Bonding maybe?! Wrong apparently. Even with the extra time, and this being all for something SHE wants to do, I have to stay at her to keep moving. 'Eat up, get dressed, pack your bag, brush your teeth, EAT UP already, where are your socks?, what do you mean the shoes you have been wearing ALL WEEK don't fit and you need new ones RIGHT NOW?!!!!!' Yup, that's right, the battle is on. Her shoes don't fit. (All of a sudden, mind you) I ask are they good enough for this mornings run and then I will buy you new ones today. 'I don't know' she answers. All while sitting like a lump on the stairs. 'Well....are you going or not? We need to hurry if you are.' No answer from the lump. 'Did you hear me?! If you are going, we need to go NOW!' 'Madison???!!!' 'What? she responds. 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!' 'I don't know....you are forcing me to do this anyways.' Is her answer. Yup, that's right, I am FORCING her to do this. Getting up early, making her tea, filling her water bottle, extra breakfast for after the run.....all to force her to take part in the group she INSISTED I sign the permission slip for 24 hours earlier. I'm done. Keys are set down, I pour myself some coffee and sit to watch the news. She starts crying (but still not getting shoes on). 'I want to go!' Okay then....let's GO! Quite honestly I am totally pissed off and somewhat hurt that my obvious effort at her special activity is being completely disregarded. Nevertheless, we get her in the van and have a drive full of stony silence to the school. I'm mad and hurt. She's frustrated....or something else I don't quite understand these days. Both of us barely containing ourselves. She hops out of the van with an 'I love you Mommy' and promptly bursts into tears as she heads to the group of runners. I respond with my own 'I love you' and drive home blinded by my own tears. So, there you have it. Madison is in cross-country. Hurray! :S Please let this not be the norm for the next 6 weeks.

Welcome back to my blog. Ha ha.

Now, I'm going to make today's favorite some Play-Doh. Ah....the simple things.

As my Nana always says 'This, too, shall pass'. God I hope so! It's my daily mantra these days!

Be well,

Crystal

Summer 'holidays'.....really?

Hurray! The kids are out of school! Ummmm.....ya, right...'hurray'. I think I remember a small twinge, maybe tingle, of anticipation for this. Maybe, at some point, there was a slight bit of excitement. It's hard to recall, now that my stressful level is sky high, my nerves are raw and patience is a virtue I like to think I had at one time. My kids have become monsters. Whiny, spoiled, unsatisfied, squabbling demons. I foolishly took 12 days off of work, thinking 'we'll spend time together!', 'it will be such fun!', 'we'll do so many cool things!'. Wow, do I wish I had worked! Don't get me wrong, we did do cool things, we had fun, we spent time together. It seems though, that after so many days of jam packed entertainment, anything else is a let down. Nothing is good enough. No one (me) can just try to have a 'down' day and try to restore my house to some sort of order. No way! What do you mean, we aren't doing anything?! That just won't do! So now I'm stuck with a pack of brats. They roll out of bed with attitude, fight before breakfast and are in time out by 9. Such fun! Even better, we are going through this routine over and over and over. Every day. Please don't think that because we don't have plans that take us out of the house, they truly have nothing to do. We have a huge yard with playset and tons of outdoor toys. Closets, bins and boxes full of toys. Plus 2 computers, 4 iPods, 2 Nintendo DS's, a Wii and a PS3. There are TONS of things to do! Needless to say, I'm over summer holidays! Not truly over the fun and sun part, but over my kids being home all day long! You know the bright point in all this?! The daily drama drives me to drink, and what's better than enjoying fruity boozy smoothies on a hot summer day? Not much! (and after enough, not even the kids seem quite so annoying!)

Who else is LOVING summer?! :)

Smiles, Be well,

Crystal

Friends

I am so lucky to have a life rich with friends. I am surrounded by so many people who love me, and whom I love. I have a great group of 'old' girlfriends. Those who have been part of my life for many, many years. Some as far back as 3 years old. Some from elementary school. Many from high school. All of them cherished. We shared many 'growing up' times, laughing, crying, sharing, talking, consoling and listening. Many not so smart times, that shaped us and taught us, that I'm glad we 'suffered' through together! We've had babies, bought houses, found parnters, got jobs, vacationed, and put more miles and time between us and our visits. Through it all we remain close. So close I know I could pick up the phone at any time and each and every one of those who 'made it' to this stage of my life would be there. We pick up right where we left off the last time we talked, visited, shared. How special it that? How lucky am I? You know what's even more impressive? That I am lucky enough to continue to make new friends at this stage in my life. Friends who may not know my history, or I there's, but who are becoming as important, as special, as those from before. Friends who will share my current history, as it's made. Who will create a history together with me, intertwined like those of my past. Who will be there to enjoy, console and support me through this chapter of my life. Pretty impressive. Pretty awesome. So, so lucky and blessed. I love you, my friends. Those old, those new, and those to come. You are cherished.

Tired, sick and maybe a bit lazy

Hello all. Sorry it has been awhile. We last talked dance recital day, right? Well dance recital day led into 'Mommy is going out tonight'. Unfortunately, going out, no matter how much fun is had (and there was a lot of fun!) means I miss out on some of my much coveted sleep. That leads to me being oh so tired. Not just the day after, but for days it seems. Some might say I'm getting older. You may as well leave now. I don't need your negativity! Ahem....back to what I was saying. So I'm tired. That is bad enough in itself. Want to know the kicker? Two of my kids, and my husband is sick too! Now that's tragic! So, going out Saturday night, plus 3 sick 'kids' (He is worse than the girls, believe me!) makes for a tired, cranky and purely lazy household. So here I sit, finally feeling rested, and guess what I get to do?! Laundry! Not just one or two loads, but piles of laundry! With 5 people in the house it accumulates faster than you can blink. So, off I go. To sort, wash, dry, fold and put away a small pickup truck full of laundry. Oh happy days!

Smiles, Be well,

Crystal