What's in a Name?

Morning, Readers,

Wow, have things changed around here! Some major, life shifting, changes.

We've left three jobs, and picked up one new (old) one. I politely declined continuing my 'second' job as part of my 'scaling' down efforts to re-balance myself. You may remember some struggles I was having awhile back. A lot stemmed from too much on my plate. I was still left with my job at Starbucks though. A job I actually really, REALLY enjoyed. It was an excellent adult/social outlet for me after spending so many hours with my 3 babes. It was easy, I was good at it, and for the most part, enjoyed every minute of it. But there were downfalls. Downfalls that slowly started showing themselves over the 18 months I worked there. Things that, at first, seemed a fair exchange for what we gained. Gradually though, I started questioning whether it was worth it. My house became harder and harder to keep nice. Basics were getting done, but piles of clutter, paperwork, STUFF were starting to inhabit closets, corners, flat surfaces. Laundry was never ALL done. Kids toys were in random bins everywhere. Library books and shoes were missing. It became apparent that with 3 kids, 2 working parents, and very little time when those 2 parents were home together, that we were lacking in both time and energy to get more than the basics done. After feeding, bathing, homework, school runs, grocery shopping, laundry (some!), dishes and bedtime, our tanks were running dry. My heart tank was starting to run dry. It ate at me that things were unraveling. On the school front I was missing field trips, concerts, plays, sporting events. I was forgetting to send a towel on swim days, shoes on track days, a coveted item on show and tell days. I had faint memories of reading and signing field trip forms, and monthly 'overviews' of upcoming events. I still forgot many. I didn't get to read to them 4 evenings a week. I didn't get to help with homework more than half the school week. I was missing snuggles, bathes and tuck-ins. On the other hand, Brad was working all day and then dragging himself through all these routines on dead feet. Missing me, and my help, while I felt I was missing out. It wasn't working for us. It slowly became apparent that the sacrifices we were making just weren't worth it.

We talked about what we needed. For our relationship, our family life, our monetary existence. Everything. It looked more and more like Brad returning to falling, and 'camp life', would provide sustenance for all these things. Yes, he would be gone for extended periods of time. Yes, I would lose my 'adult time' outlet. Yes, it wouldn't be all easy. BUT, it would provide us quality time together when he was off, it would allow me to re-invest myself in my top 3 priorities; my kids, it would give us the chance to alleviate much financial stress and plan for 'extras' as well. So I left Starbucks. Brad left his job. I became a camp wife again. We have embarked on a camp life.

We are on day 2. So far, so good. It will take some settling in. There will be a learning curve. Brad will be missed. He will miss us. In my heart though, I feel peace. I believe this was a good move. I believe I will start to feel whole again. Not empty and stretched and grasping.

That brings me to the post title, 'What's in a Name?' Part of my commitment to this new endeavor is to also get back in touch with my Blog. I need it. As an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, days recounting. To keep myself in touch with that 'outside world' I've stepped away from. It helps me to relax, gather my thoughts and reflect. It WILL likely take on a new feel though. That of a stay-at-home Mama living on her own for stretches of time. Sooooo....I am changing the Blog name. I've never been satisfied with what it is called now anyways, so it fits my 'new leaf' sort of life right now too.

Stay tuned. Change will happen in next few days.

Smiles, Be Well, Crystal