I'm back. Sort of. I actually don't feel as if I have been totally absent. Yes, I realize I haven't posted for almost 2 months, I get that. What I mean is my mind has been so darn FULL of what I want to say, need to say, am trying to say, that blogging has been in the forefront daily. It has just been too much. Too much emotion, thoughts, feelings. I couldn't articulate it. Not into something that didn't go on and on. I'm going to try to now. A snippet at least. Let you in on where I've been, where I am coming from. It isn't exactly pretty. It is still going on. It has been a struggle.
I have been sad. Overwhelmed. Lonely. Consumed with so many emotions. Feeling very inadequate. Not a good enough wife, mom, friend. Not even much of a person. Seeing so much I want to do, ways to improve, things I believe will make me feel better. But have had zero energy to take it on. Been almost paralyzed with the enormity of it. Where do you begin when you don't think you amount to much? When you think you are really good at fooling people into believing you are someone worth being friends with, but don't believe you are indeed such a person yourself? Kind of insurmountable, right?
I think I am weighed down by 'what was'. Or 'who was'. Not ready to let go of where I've been, what has been, and make a go of 'now'. We are in a new city. (Still new enough, believe me) New work, schools, people. We have made friends. Wonderful friends in my opinion. People who like us, want to spend time with us, and who we have a really good time with. But, it is still new. I think I yearn for old friendships, times spent, people no longer part of my life. The history you have with those long-time friends. So much so that I'm not being open to what could be. What is right in front of my face.
I think the 'old friends' is easier. They have seen, and been part of so much. I am comfortable in knowing that they really KNOW me, and still like me. So I must be likable. Naturally as time passes, as we grow older, so do these friendships fade. Some seem to be going away forever, some evolving as we do, some are just the same, but with miles between us now. I have a hard time with the going away part. I am too needy, perhaps. I take it too personally. I get it, it happens. But it still hurts. And if 'old' friends don't want to still be friends, it haunts me. Makes me wonder how anyone new could want to invest. Makes me nervous to put myself out there for more hurt.
So. There it is. Part of what has been eating at me. Heartache for what was. Fear of what could be. Me really needing to stop over thinking and just let things be. I know I make friends easily. Until a certain point. Then I put a wall up and don't let them too close. I start to feel smothered as the friendship grows, and gets better, and becomes what I want....but seem reluctant to commit to. Then I am lonely and sad and missing those 'old' friends again. Messed up. I know. Something I am working on. Putting it out there will help.
Also, I'm 30 in 11 days. At risk of being cliche, I think it is actually bothering me! I never have been one to care about such things. I have to wonder if all this emotional upheaval is directly related though. I am truly an emotional wreck of late. 30. Hmmmm. What does that mean?
I guess you can consider this 'Part 1'. There is more. Believe me. LOTS more. This is all I am up to for now though.
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The moments we live for.....
Man oh man do I love my kids. They are quite simply what makes my heart beat, my lungs fill with breath, my feet hit the ground in the morning. Yes, I gripe. Yes, it isn't always sunshine and rainbows. 'It' is HARD. Nurturing, influencing, educating these little people. Tiring, draining, relentlessly hard work. But SO very rewarding.
A few snippets of sigh-worthy moments of late....
Lane has taken to asking 'Teach me Mama, teach me'. How awesome is that?! He has a thirst, yearning, hunger for the world around him. So much to see, do, LEARN. I marvel at how quickly he catches on, how he remembers, how he questions. How he is becoming kind, thoughtful and loving. How simply inspiring to be directly influencing THAT!
A couple of days ago the girls were watching something on Family channel. An 'Anti-Bullying' commercial came on where a boy is hiding in a locker. Lauren was quite alarmed and asked what was going on. I told her why he might be hiding, why they were advertising those sorts of things and why it is so important how we treat people so as not to make anyone feel the need to hide. She still seemed kind of upset, and Madison noticed, so she said to her 'Lauren, don't worry, we don't have any bullies at our school'. After which Lauren visibly relaxed. Now, of course their school may have bullies, but how fantastic that my 9 year old hasn't noticed it?! How my heart swelled to hear that as of yet they haven't been subject to such torment OR witnessed it! How great that, maybe, MAYBE their school is doing such a great job creating a nurturing, respectful, positive environment that, indeed, they don't have any bullies! Kudos to the school, and kudos to the kids for making it such a wonderful place to learn and grow in.
And last night. Oh you should have been here to see what I saw last night. I worked, so Brad was home with the kids for dinner, homework, bedtime. When I got home he explained to me how Lane had asked to sleep with the girls. (Just so you know...they have been sleeping together in the spare room in a queen size bed we had set up for holiday company.) I was incredulous to how it could have ever worked and probably said 'you're kidding me, right?!' He, being the softy he is, told me 'I should have seen how he asked', the whole 'Pleeease Daddy' routine and all. So, I guess he told him he could have ONE chance to settle down and go to sleep. That the girls have school in the morning...yadda yadda yadda. Well...guess what?! He fell asleep with them! Quickly, with no issues! So, as a last image before I went to bed, I gazed in at my 3 sweet, loving, content children cuddled together in slumbering bliss. How perfect. On top of that...before I went to wake them this morning, I could hear that they were already awake, laying in bed, warm and cuddling, SINGING to each other. Sigh-worthy or what?!
So there you have it. The moments we live for. Sure puts everything in perspective and makes all the other nonsense fade into the distance, doesn't it?
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
A few snippets of sigh-worthy moments of late....
Lane has taken to asking 'Teach me Mama, teach me'. How awesome is that?! He has a thirst, yearning, hunger for the world around him. So much to see, do, LEARN. I marvel at how quickly he catches on, how he remembers, how he questions. How he is becoming kind, thoughtful and loving. How simply inspiring to be directly influencing THAT!
A couple of days ago the girls were watching something on Family channel. An 'Anti-Bullying' commercial came on where a boy is hiding in a locker. Lauren was quite alarmed and asked what was going on. I told her why he might be hiding, why they were advertising those sorts of things and why it is so important how we treat people so as not to make anyone feel the need to hide. She still seemed kind of upset, and Madison noticed, so she said to her 'Lauren, don't worry, we don't have any bullies at our school'. After which Lauren visibly relaxed. Now, of course their school may have bullies, but how fantastic that my 9 year old hasn't noticed it?! How my heart swelled to hear that as of yet they haven't been subject to such torment OR witnessed it! How great that, maybe, MAYBE their school is doing such a great job creating a nurturing, respectful, positive environment that, indeed, they don't have any bullies! Kudos to the school, and kudos to the kids for making it such a wonderful place to learn and grow in.
And last night. Oh you should have been here to see what I saw last night. I worked, so Brad was home with the kids for dinner, homework, bedtime. When I got home he explained to me how Lane had asked to sleep with the girls. (Just so you know...they have been sleeping together in the spare room in a queen size bed we had set up for holiday company.) I was incredulous to how it could have ever worked and probably said 'you're kidding me, right?!' He, being the softy he is, told me 'I should have seen how he asked', the whole 'Pleeease Daddy' routine and all. So, I guess he told him he could have ONE chance to settle down and go to sleep. That the girls have school in the morning...yadda yadda yadda. Well...guess what?! He fell asleep with them! Quickly, with no issues! So, as a last image before I went to bed, I gazed in at my 3 sweet, loving, content children cuddled together in slumbering bliss. How perfect. On top of that...before I went to wake them this morning, I could hear that they were already awake, laying in bed, warm and cuddling, SINGING to each other. Sigh-worthy or what?!
So there you have it. The moments we live for. Sure puts everything in perspective and makes all the other nonsense fade into the distance, doesn't it?
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
Friday, January 7, 2011
Meh....sleep....who needs it?!
...........oh....hello. Sorry. I was yawning. I am so tired. Why? You wonder? Well, it seems my wee man, Lane, needs less and less sleep. Slowly, surely, since he turned 2 in October he has been shaving HOURS off. First it was his naps. Which were always consistent and always at least 2 hours....longer if I didn't wake him. Then, BAM! No more naps. Just like that. The first week or so he would fall asleep early evening if you weren't careful. (Those of you with little ones no how bad early evening 'naps' can be for you!) It didn't take long, though, for him to be easily making it through a day nap free. Sure, it was hard at first. Especially on me who suddenly had no 'down' time all day. But we adjusted. Also, he still slept 12 or 13 hours a night....straight...so no biggie, right?! Wait! Not so fast! Now he seems to think why not shave hours off during the night too. Again, it was gradual. Waking up between 5 or 6.....I managed to keep him fairly mellow with cuddles and singing, then we would get up for the day. Earlier than normal, yes. Tiring for me, for sure. Manageable though. Until last night. He woke up just after 4(!)am. Wide awake. BEGGING me to watch the 'puppies' movie. (Lady and the Tramp) For 2 hours I refused to actually 'get up'. I am completely unwilling to actually act as if it is normal to be up at 4. No, I don't ignore him or let him cry. I just don't start our day that early. We can cuddle. We can sing quietly. We ARE NOT watching movies. Maybe I'm wrong, but I figure if you let it happen, it will likely become a regular occurrence. I guess we will see. He fell asleep again around 6, and is still soundly sleeping. (So unfair!) So, there you have it. I'm tired....and really, really hoping this isn't the new normal for us!
Happy Friday Blog readers!
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
Happy Friday Blog readers!
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Resolutions.....
Today is the day. Our holidays are officially over. We woke with blurry eyes and at least 2 swats at the snooze button. Lane's first word of the day was 'stupid'. Lauren commented she can't remember the last time she had a good sleep. Madison wondered where her agenda and reading books were. Yup, back to the grind.
Sadly, it kind of felt like our holiday come to a crashing halt last week with my sickness. Although it WAS nice to be able to stay in jammies and watch a LOT of movies, I felt bad not taking advantage of our precious last 'free' days. Plus, the weather was gorgeous. So, while I sniffled, coughed and whined, I also lamented the swimming, skating, playing that could have been. I AM on the upswing now, though. So fun WILL be had this weekend. I believe skating it is. :)
Obviously, for most of us, this time of year brings around a lot of thinking. Soul searching. Resolutions. Where are we? Where do we want to be? What do we want/need more of? What could we really do without? I have so much in my head on these thoughts I am having trouble sleeping. I'm not sure if it's just because it's a new year, because it's my 30th year living this life, or because I am really just aching for some change. Positive, uplifting, forward thinking, life fulfilling CHANGE. Whatever the reason, I am going to strive to make some differences. Here are some of my thoughts on where I want this year to lead....
~ Health. I take it for granted. Even with how I 'suffered' through this week long sickness, I am humbled to think how, for so many, their health is a daily, weekly, monthly, YEARLY struggle. How lucky I am to have a fully WELL functioning body. To have healthy children. My first resolution is to LIVE healthier. More exercise, more water, more vegetables. I also intend to work harder at instilling such habits and values in my kids.
~ Education. I haven't done anything since high school. Stupidly, I didn't try very hard at that in the later years either. This is the year to get the ball rolling again. I'm daunted, to say the least. I was more than able to be an excellent student, so I plan to draw on that and finally bring it to fruition. I have started with the most basic of inquiring emails and have the box out that contains my high school transcripts. Next step, set up a meeting to see where I stand and what I need to do. Stay tuned...I will need the support.
~ Happiness. Seems simple, right? For me, I need to fine tune some things. I am going to strive to be more POSITIVE. To surround myself with positive people. To think before I speak. To breath before I react. To be more in the moment. To listen better. To not validate those people and things that seek to dim my light, unintentional or not.
~ Wealth. I'm going back to basics with this one. I am going to consciously SAVE. Off every pay cheque. Not matter what. Of all my resolutions, this is going to be the HARDEST, but a lesson I really, REALLY need to learn. I. WILL. PUT. MONEY. AWAY.
So, there you have it. A condensed version of my wildly spinning thoughts on resolutions right now. Health. Education. Happiness. Wealth. Not necessarily in that order. Each should work hand in hand to develop them all as a whole. Me, as a whole.
I would love your thoughts. Your encouragement. Your support. Your help in holding me accountable. For 2011 I intend to think BIG. Let's do this!
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
Sadly, it kind of felt like our holiday come to a crashing halt last week with my sickness. Although it WAS nice to be able to stay in jammies and watch a LOT of movies, I felt bad not taking advantage of our precious last 'free' days. Plus, the weather was gorgeous. So, while I sniffled, coughed and whined, I also lamented the swimming, skating, playing that could have been. I AM on the upswing now, though. So fun WILL be had this weekend. I believe skating it is. :)
Obviously, for most of us, this time of year brings around a lot of thinking. Soul searching. Resolutions. Where are we? Where do we want to be? What do we want/need more of? What could we really do without? I have so much in my head on these thoughts I am having trouble sleeping. I'm not sure if it's just because it's a new year, because it's my 30th year living this life, or because I am really just aching for some change. Positive, uplifting, forward thinking, life fulfilling CHANGE. Whatever the reason, I am going to strive to make some differences. Here are some of my thoughts on where I want this year to lead....
~ Health. I take it for granted. Even with how I 'suffered' through this week long sickness, I am humbled to think how, for so many, their health is a daily, weekly, monthly, YEARLY struggle. How lucky I am to have a fully WELL functioning body. To have healthy children. My first resolution is to LIVE healthier. More exercise, more water, more vegetables. I also intend to work harder at instilling such habits and values in my kids.
~ Education. I haven't done anything since high school. Stupidly, I didn't try very hard at that in the later years either. This is the year to get the ball rolling again. I'm daunted, to say the least. I was more than able to be an excellent student, so I plan to draw on that and finally bring it to fruition. I have started with the most basic of inquiring emails and have the box out that contains my high school transcripts. Next step, set up a meeting to see where I stand and what I need to do. Stay tuned...I will need the support.
~ Happiness. Seems simple, right? For me, I need to fine tune some things. I am going to strive to be more POSITIVE. To surround myself with positive people. To think before I speak. To breath before I react. To be more in the moment. To listen better. To not validate those people and things that seek to dim my light, unintentional or not.
~ Wealth. I'm going back to basics with this one. I am going to consciously SAVE. Off every pay cheque. Not matter what. Of all my resolutions, this is going to be the HARDEST, but a lesson I really, REALLY need to learn. I. WILL. PUT. MONEY. AWAY.
So, there you have it. A condensed version of my wildly spinning thoughts on resolutions right now. Health. Education. Happiness. Wealth. Not necessarily in that order. Each should work hand in hand to develop them all as a whole. Me, as a whole.
I would love your thoughts. Your encouragement. Your support. Your help in holding me accountable. For 2011 I intend to think BIG. Let's do this!
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
Thursday, December 30, 2010
*Bliss*
Good morning Blog readers,
So. Here we are. In the stunned, worn out, holiday void between christmas and new years eve. For me, 'worn out' is an understatement. I am actually brutally ill. Too much craziness, too little sleep = upper respiratory infection, breathing tube infection and a left lung that 'doesn't sound good'. :( So it looks like I will ring in the new year in a drug induced, hacking, wheezing, feverish stupor....waiting for the antibiotics to kick in and kill these germs! I can't say I am all that sad. It is kind of nice to have a great excuse to not have to suck it up and find one last burst of energy just because it's 'New Years Eve'. I'm thinking some Thai take-out, popcorn and maybe the new Harry Potter with my favorite people is just the thing I need this year. Can't say I'm evening planning on seeing midnight. Sounds perfect, don't you think?!
I have to say, though, even being sick now, it was so worth it. 'It' being the christmas craziness of course. What a wonderful time we had. How lucky, blessed, spoiled I am to be surrounded by such beautiful people in my life. Even better?! The most 'beautiful' of said people? My own kids! How I marvel what fantastic little beings they are each and every day. While another year slips away, and I brush tears aside remembering what stages and memories are coming to a close with it, I can't help but smile, beam even, over the FUN, LOVE, LAUGHTER we have shared. To make such memories with such wonderful people is pure bliss.
MADISON - Girl, you ROCK. I am so proud of the lovely young lady you are becoming. Your thoughtfulness, humor, and huge heart are an inspiration to me everyday. You see, and appreciate, the little things. You take risks and challenge yourself. You are a great big sister AND great friend. I love your inquisitive mind, the fact that you question things, your zest for reading. I think it's great how you love to play games, and look forward to playing many more with you. So often I look at you and think, WOW, are you SMART. Continue to be you. To grow in, learn from and question the world around you. You are beautiful, inside and out and I couldn't ask for a more awesome daughter. 'To the Moon and Back' XO
LAUREN - My favorite 6 year old. You are the coolest little being. I love and admire how you take on life, 100%. My heart swells to hear and see what a thoughtful, helpful, kind person you are becoming. You have such a tough shell...who would know what a gooey center was inside?! Man are you a super cuddler! I am so proud of how hard you try at everything, even if you find it a challenge. That's an admirable asset. You are awesome at being the middle child. Such a great little sister AND a great big sister. Good job. You are fun, loving and add humor to every day. Keep on attacking life with such vigor, you will reap the rewards. 'As Big as a Mountain' XO
LANE - Dude, what a cool little man you are. 2 years old and so, SO smart. I marvel at your vocabulary and skills. Wow, are you learning a lot from your big sisters. They, too, learn a lot from you. You are an awesome baby brother, and so adored by the whole household. Your curiosity is contagious. Your memory amazing. I know I enjoy reading to, and teaching you, as much as you enjoy soaking it up. You are so FUNNY for a little guy. You just get it. That's awesome. I love that you have introduced 'big trucks' 'monsters' and 'tools' to our world; it is better for it. Continue thriving, wee man, you have only just begun. 'To Infinity and Beyond' XO
So, goodbye 2010. You have been good to us. We have blossomed in so many ways. We are so lucky and honored to be surrounded by such amazing people in our lives. To share, grow and experience this life together. I know I have it good. I know I am blessed. I am truly humbled.
Bring on 2011! Onwards and upwards.
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
So. Here we are. In the stunned, worn out, holiday void between christmas and new years eve. For me, 'worn out' is an understatement. I am actually brutally ill. Too much craziness, too little sleep = upper respiratory infection, breathing tube infection and a left lung that 'doesn't sound good'. :( So it looks like I will ring in the new year in a drug induced, hacking, wheezing, feverish stupor....waiting for the antibiotics to kick in and kill these germs! I can't say I am all that sad. It is kind of nice to have a great excuse to not have to suck it up and find one last burst of energy just because it's 'New Years Eve'. I'm thinking some Thai take-out, popcorn and maybe the new Harry Potter with my favorite people is just the thing I need this year. Can't say I'm evening planning on seeing midnight. Sounds perfect, don't you think?!
I have to say, though, even being sick now, it was so worth it. 'It' being the christmas craziness of course. What a wonderful time we had. How lucky, blessed, spoiled I am to be surrounded by such beautiful people in my life. Even better?! The most 'beautiful' of said people? My own kids! How I marvel what fantastic little beings they are each and every day. While another year slips away, and I brush tears aside remembering what stages and memories are coming to a close with it, I can't help but smile, beam even, over the FUN, LOVE, LAUGHTER we have shared. To make such memories with such wonderful people is pure bliss.
MADISON - Girl, you ROCK. I am so proud of the lovely young lady you are becoming. Your thoughtfulness, humor, and huge heart are an inspiration to me everyday. You see, and appreciate, the little things. You take risks and challenge yourself. You are a great big sister AND great friend. I love your inquisitive mind, the fact that you question things, your zest for reading. I think it's great how you love to play games, and look forward to playing many more with you. So often I look at you and think, WOW, are you SMART. Continue to be you. To grow in, learn from and question the world around you. You are beautiful, inside and out and I couldn't ask for a more awesome daughter. 'To the Moon and Back' XO
LAUREN - My favorite 6 year old. You are the coolest little being. I love and admire how you take on life, 100%. My heart swells to hear and see what a thoughtful, helpful, kind person you are becoming. You have such a tough shell...who would know what a gooey center was inside?! Man are you a super cuddler! I am so proud of how hard you try at everything, even if you find it a challenge. That's an admirable asset. You are awesome at being the middle child. Such a great little sister AND a great big sister. Good job. You are fun, loving and add humor to every day. Keep on attacking life with such vigor, you will reap the rewards. 'As Big as a Mountain' XO
LANE - Dude, what a cool little man you are. 2 years old and so, SO smart. I marvel at your vocabulary and skills. Wow, are you learning a lot from your big sisters. They, too, learn a lot from you. You are an awesome baby brother, and so adored by the whole household. Your curiosity is contagious. Your memory amazing. I know I enjoy reading to, and teaching you, as much as you enjoy soaking it up. You are so FUNNY for a little guy. You just get it. That's awesome. I love that you have introduced 'big trucks' 'monsters' and 'tools' to our world; it is better for it. Continue thriving, wee man, you have only just begun. 'To Infinity and Beyond' XO
So, goodbye 2010. You have been good to us. We have blossomed in so many ways. We are so lucky and honored to be surrounded by such amazing people in our lives. To share, grow and experience this life together. I know I have it good. I know I am blessed. I am truly humbled.
Bring on 2011! Onwards and upwards.
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The broken finger incident....
Hello!
So...I have had a lot of inquiries about my broken finger. Yup, that's right, for those of you just finding out, I broke my finger. How would I sum it up? I'd have to say draining. About 24 hours following the actually incident and all the drama that followed, I was totally wiped out. (and, no, it wasn't just the pain killers!) Here's what happened....
*Disclaimer! It turned into a really LONG story...my apologies!*
I had all three kids in the van and was rushing off to the grocery store. (Note - I don't think we ever head anywhere NOT rushing) I was dressed for work, and had little more than an hour to grab something for Brad and the kiddies to have for dinner, pick him up from work, drop them all off and get to work myself. Not really a bad time frame under normal circumstances...as I said, I'm used to rushing! As leaped in the van myself I simultaneously went to close the door with my left hand and put my seat belt on with my right. Well, the seat belt got stuck. So I let go of the door and grabbed the belt near the top with that hand, giving it a good yank. As quick as a flash the seat belt let go, my hand (with thumb and first two fingers gripping belt and second two sticking out) shot up and out the door, and the door, which apparently was still slamming shut, did so on my ring finger. Wait....give me a moment....deep breaths....deep breaths.....! Okay. Obviously I instantly exclaimed (no profanities, I'm proud to say), opened the door, looked at my finger and almost vomited. Tears sprung to my eyes as my kids asked in worried voices 'what's wrong Mama?'. Said finger was bent backwards and to the side at almost a 90 degree angle. My first thought you ask? Funnily enough it was 'I don't think I can work'! I told the kids to stay put, hopped out of the van, my hand held up and to the side because looking at it made it so much worse. Quickly I ran inside, grabbed a bag of ice, a baggie and called work. My stoic calm evaded me upon having to say (sob) out loud 'I can't come to work, I think my finger is broken....(more gasping sobs)....it's CROOKED!' That dealt with I returned to the van, more composed, but tears still streaming, and asked Madison to 'put some ice in the baggie for me please'. She had the best view from the front seat and looked at me, quite pale herself, and said 'But Mama, where are we going? Your finger is crooked!'. To which I calmly replied 'Yes, I know honey, but we have to pick up Daddy'.
Needless to say, upon seeing Brad, any calm demeanor I was clinging to flew right out the window. I held up my hand and sobbed. He jumped out of the truck he had just pulled up in, looked at my finger and got me in the van, heading off to seek treatment. (I will mention our friend Brant offered, with a barely concealed grin, to straighten it for me, to which I declined in horror) We dashed off, me crying, Brad driving, Madison texting (upon my request) my Mom to let her know they (the kids) were on their way. By now the finger was basically numb, kind of pulsing, but nothing too terrible. Any time I looked at it, it brought on fresh tears though.
So, with kids dropped off, we headed for a walk in clinic. (Not until after Brad mentioned he was starving and hinted at stopping for food though! Needless to say, without so much as a word, we kept on towards the clinic!) Upon getting in to see the doctor he asked 'So what happened?' I told him and held up my hand for him to see. Do you know what he did?! Without a word of warning?! He grabbed it...and STRAIGHTENED it!!! Oh man did I cry, and scream, and cry. I'm pretty sure the words 'I'd rather have another baby than THIS!' escaped my mouth. lol After binding (more tears and whimpers) it to part of a tongue depressor, he sent us of to the ER. Cause guess what?! Not only was it certainly broken, he thought the tendon was off. Oh goodie.
Now we found ourselves at the Royal Jubilee ER. About 5:30 at night. With no hope of being there less than 3 hours. (It ended up being 5) :S Brad dropped me off and went to fill the T3 prescription from the first doctor for me and grab something to eat. After being admitted, and watching/listening to all the stories and characters only the ER seems to attract, I took a seat to wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. Happily Brad returned with the pills and I slept on his shoulder for part of it! Finally we were brought through the doors....to wait some more. Totally tricky. After being called into a room to see a nurse and tell my story again, we were sent to X-ray. Guess what I did there?! Yup...waited some more. By now my Mom was with me, since she and Brad had swapped jobs so the kids could get home to bed. Being a total Mom and seeing how I was starting to hurt again, but how loopy I was after the first round of pills, she went to get me a sub. After my X-rays, I again waited. What a group of people there were there! One old, likely homeless man kept asking for rolling papers claiming 'this place would be SO much better if we just got high'! Another young mom of a 2 year old kept yelling at the same man to 'stop talking to my son'! Ahh....good times. Finally! I saw the doctor. Guess what he did?! Unwrapped my finger while I stood there, in front of everyone and cried again! He then started trying on various splints....yes, as I continued to cry. Yes, still standing beside waiting room, in front of everyone. Eventually it was splinted and taped and he took me to see the X-rays. Want to know the good news he had for me?! He thought I may need surgery(!) and a pin(!) to put it back together properly, and was sending me to a plastic surgeon in the morning. Fack!
Round three. Next morning. Plastic surgeon's office. After more waiting, more X-rays and another drug induced nap in the waiting room, I saw the surgeon. Who had good news! The bones were lined up as good as he'd hope to get them with a pin! Prognosis? 3 weeks in a splint (awkward, but doable) then one more visit to him after 4 weeks. If all has gone well I should be good to go. Maybe with a little physio to regain mobility.
Whew! There you have it. Sorry it was an absurdly long story.
Smiles, be well,
(Mallet finger!) Crystal
So...I have had a lot of inquiries about my broken finger. Yup, that's right, for those of you just finding out, I broke my finger. How would I sum it up? I'd have to say draining. About 24 hours following the actually incident and all the drama that followed, I was totally wiped out. (and, no, it wasn't just the pain killers!) Here's what happened....
*Disclaimer! It turned into a really LONG story...my apologies!*
I had all three kids in the van and was rushing off to the grocery store. (Note - I don't think we ever head anywhere NOT rushing) I was dressed for work, and had little more than an hour to grab something for Brad and the kiddies to have for dinner, pick him up from work, drop them all off and get to work myself. Not really a bad time frame under normal circumstances...as I said, I'm used to rushing! As leaped in the van myself I simultaneously went to close the door with my left hand and put my seat belt on with my right. Well, the seat belt got stuck. So I let go of the door and grabbed the belt near the top with that hand, giving it a good yank. As quick as a flash the seat belt let go, my hand (with thumb and first two fingers gripping belt and second two sticking out) shot up and out the door, and the door, which apparently was still slamming shut, did so on my ring finger. Wait....give me a moment....deep breaths....deep breaths.....! Okay. Obviously I instantly exclaimed (no profanities, I'm proud to say), opened the door, looked at my finger and almost vomited. Tears sprung to my eyes as my kids asked in worried voices 'what's wrong Mama?'. Said finger was bent backwards and to the side at almost a 90 degree angle. My first thought you ask? Funnily enough it was 'I don't think I can work'! I told the kids to stay put, hopped out of the van, my hand held up and to the side because looking at it made it so much worse. Quickly I ran inside, grabbed a bag of ice, a baggie and called work. My stoic calm evaded me upon having to say (sob) out loud 'I can't come to work, I think my finger is broken....(more gasping sobs)....it's CROOKED!' That dealt with I returned to the van, more composed, but tears still streaming, and asked Madison to 'put some ice in the baggie for me please'. She had the best view from the front seat and looked at me, quite pale herself, and said 'But Mama, where are we going? Your finger is crooked!'. To which I calmly replied 'Yes, I know honey, but we have to pick up Daddy'.
Needless to say, upon seeing Brad, any calm demeanor I was clinging to flew right out the window. I held up my hand and sobbed. He jumped out of the truck he had just pulled up in, looked at my finger and got me in the van, heading off to seek treatment. (I will mention our friend Brant offered, with a barely concealed grin, to straighten it for me, to which I declined in horror) We dashed off, me crying, Brad driving, Madison texting (upon my request) my Mom to let her know they (the kids) were on their way. By now the finger was basically numb, kind of pulsing, but nothing too terrible. Any time I looked at it, it brought on fresh tears though.
So, with kids dropped off, we headed for a walk in clinic. (Not until after Brad mentioned he was starving and hinted at stopping for food though! Needless to say, without so much as a word, we kept on towards the clinic!) Upon getting in to see the doctor he asked 'So what happened?' I told him and held up my hand for him to see. Do you know what he did?! Without a word of warning?! He grabbed it...and STRAIGHTENED it!!! Oh man did I cry, and scream, and cry. I'm pretty sure the words 'I'd rather have another baby than THIS!' escaped my mouth. lol After binding (more tears and whimpers) it to part of a tongue depressor, he sent us of to the ER. Cause guess what?! Not only was it certainly broken, he thought the tendon was off. Oh goodie.
Now we found ourselves at the Royal Jubilee ER. About 5:30 at night. With no hope of being there less than 3 hours. (It ended up being 5) :S Brad dropped me off and went to fill the T3 prescription from the first doctor for me and grab something to eat. After being admitted, and watching/listening to all the stories and characters only the ER seems to attract, I took a seat to wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. Happily Brad returned with the pills and I slept on his shoulder for part of it! Finally we were brought through the doors....to wait some more. Totally tricky. After being called into a room to see a nurse and tell my story again, we were sent to X-ray. Guess what I did there?! Yup...waited some more. By now my Mom was with me, since she and Brad had swapped jobs so the kids could get home to bed. Being a total Mom and seeing how I was starting to hurt again, but how loopy I was after the first round of pills, she went to get me a sub. After my X-rays, I again waited. What a group of people there were there! One old, likely homeless man kept asking for rolling papers claiming 'this place would be SO much better if we just got high'! Another young mom of a 2 year old kept yelling at the same man to 'stop talking to my son'! Ahh....good times. Finally! I saw the doctor. Guess what he did?! Unwrapped my finger while I stood there, in front of everyone and cried again! He then started trying on various splints....yes, as I continued to cry. Yes, still standing beside waiting room, in front of everyone. Eventually it was splinted and taped and he took me to see the X-rays. Want to know the good news he had for me?! He thought I may need surgery(!) and a pin(!) to put it back together properly, and was sending me to a plastic surgeon in the morning. Fack!
Round three. Next morning. Plastic surgeon's office. After more waiting, more X-rays and another drug induced nap in the waiting room, I saw the surgeon. Who had good news! The bones were lined up as good as he'd hope to get them with a pin! Prognosis? 3 weeks in a splint (awkward, but doable) then one more visit to him after 4 weeks. If all has gone well I should be good to go. Maybe with a little physio to regain mobility.
Whew! There you have it. Sorry it was an absurdly long story.
Smiles, be well,
(Mallet finger!) Crystal
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Coyote Ugly.....Toddler Style...
Morning Blog readers!
Guess what? Wait for it.....! I have sick kids! Yup. Again. With 3 (notice I am kindly not including the hubby) it seems there isn't a lot of time between bugs. Add in this super hectic, extra activity, energy, angst time of year and consider yourself weakened. Especially if your 'self' is wee. It started with my 6 year old. Runny nose, mild fever, cough, sore throat. She is on day 3 home from school. (Although this morning she tried to INSIST she was okay to go. While simultaneously gasping she was going to throw up and coughing up a lung...very effective! lol) Saw the doctor last night. Been swabbed for strep. Fun times. :S Now, though, it has become worse. Little man is sick. Poor, 30 pound, 2 year old Laney Bug. :( Toddler sickness TRULY sucks. So far his, too, is the head cold kind. Not too bad you say? Hmmmm....maybe you should sleep over. He is too young for decongestants, to young to stay propped up on pillows to keep his head elevated, too young to even blow his nose properly. So guess where that leaves us? (and I do mean US literally) Together in MY bed, (snoring hubby is there too....but he probably couldn't tell you which two kids are sick if pressed), propped up on MY pillows, in the crook of MY arm while I keep a constant vigilance to keep his head elevated. Throw in the occasional boob fondling (Lane, not hubby!) and you can imagine I'm not sleeping much! Hey...while we have the 'boob' thing out there...what is with my now 2 year old's new found obsession with my boobs?! He has been weaned for a year, but is intent on slipping a hand down my shirt whenever he gets close enough to. He actually has SAID, while coming into my bed on some other wakeful night 'Me hold boobie....please'!!! Seriously?! But that is a whole other topic...lol. So, this morning found me slipping said arm out from under poor sickie #2, ever so carefully, covering him up, fluffing the pillows upright and creeping out of the room. Hoping to buy some time to get Madison off to school, Lauren settled on the couch and at least one cup of coffee into me before my day starts being dictated by my sick toddler. Should be a long one!
On the up side? Two out of five isn't THAT bad. Keep your fingers crossed that the germ spreading stays minimal!
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
Guess what? Wait for it.....! I have sick kids! Yup. Again. With 3 (notice I am kindly not including the hubby) it seems there isn't a lot of time between bugs. Add in this super hectic, extra activity, energy, angst time of year and consider yourself weakened. Especially if your 'self' is wee. It started with my 6 year old. Runny nose, mild fever, cough, sore throat. She is on day 3 home from school. (Although this morning she tried to INSIST she was okay to go. While simultaneously gasping she was going to throw up and coughing up a lung...very effective! lol) Saw the doctor last night. Been swabbed for strep. Fun times. :S Now, though, it has become worse. Little man is sick. Poor, 30 pound, 2 year old Laney Bug. :( Toddler sickness TRULY sucks. So far his, too, is the head cold kind. Not too bad you say? Hmmmm....maybe you should sleep over. He is too young for decongestants, to young to stay propped up on pillows to keep his head elevated, too young to even blow his nose properly. So guess where that leaves us? (and I do mean US literally) Together in MY bed, (snoring hubby is there too....but he probably couldn't tell you which two kids are sick if pressed), propped up on MY pillows, in the crook of MY arm while I keep a constant vigilance to keep his head elevated. Throw in the occasional boob fondling (Lane, not hubby!) and you can imagine I'm not sleeping much! Hey...while we have the 'boob' thing out there...what is with my now 2 year old's new found obsession with my boobs?! He has been weaned for a year, but is intent on slipping a hand down my shirt whenever he gets close enough to. He actually has SAID, while coming into my bed on some other wakeful night 'Me hold boobie....please'!!! Seriously?! But that is a whole other topic...lol. So, this morning found me slipping said arm out from under poor sickie #2, ever so carefully, covering him up, fluffing the pillows upright and creeping out of the room. Hoping to buy some time to get Madison off to school, Lauren settled on the couch and at least one cup of coffee into me before my day starts being dictated by my sick toddler. Should be a long one!
On the up side? Two out of five isn't THAT bad. Keep your fingers crossed that the germ spreading stays minimal!
Smiles, Be well,
Crystal
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